Monday, 24 October 2016

The internal ramblings of a fashion victim vol.2

Navigating the Sales:

Every true fashion follower knows that a sale is something to plan, save for and ultimately grab the best bits you have been coveting for the past season but have been just out of your reach.

Now is the time, whether you have received an email, have the inside scoop or are on count down – with the hope (and prayer) that they will have a sale!  You have saved, you have resisted every temptation to purchase that one thing that is so expensive that you just couldn’t justify living on beans for a month and you are ready. 

Now, will this be an online transaction or will it be a run to the shops, elbows at the ready to fend off the other, equally keen fashion slaves kind of day? What are you prepared for?

Well the online option means endlessly refreshing the home page to get the “SALE NOW ON’ flashing at you with its twinkly, tempting eyes popping across your screen. But, and this is a big but, what if there are too many people trying to purchase – trying to buy the same thing – what if it takes down the site, what if your band width is just not quick enough? These are all valid and totally non-neurotic thoughts! Ultimately the benefits are sitting in your pyjamas, eating a pizza while you casually add the items to the imaginary shopping cart - hit purchase and voila they are yours – but this is very much the positive spin! You could have 2 devices on the go at once- the phone and the computer – maybe even the ipad – just in case – and operate a mini buying computer lab! That’s possible, and you could even have a few sites on the go at once – covering way more ground that if you were running round the shops – that would require a league table of which item was the favourite and that’s just not possible!

Ok so the pros are sitting at home like a slob, casually cruising the sites and purchasing at leisure – then a few days later having a Christmas type experience when they all arrive. The cons – what if the internet has a Y2K moment and the whole thing dies on you – crashed sites, slow internet, people getting there before you and that’s it – you lose it all?! Hmmmmm – ok so the other option is go and get them….

You have to dress the part, first and foremost – get your look ready – the perfect balance of   ‘I love fashion as much as you v’s I mean business and can move like a ninja around this store’ . Once that’s down, you then must plan your moves – which item means the most to you – that is your first stop. If possible you could always plan to purchase items where they are under one store – that would be great – but they may not offer the best discount – again major research and strategic planning must be put into this!

So my main advise is to wear trainers or ballet flats – great for running through the doors like a woman possessed, have a small cross body bag – so you are not having to put it down while you rummage – nope that’s not practical and you may lose it in the caos. You don’t want scarves, hats or any other loose items that are going to get in your way of quick manoeuvres – think streamline, sleek and ready to pounce.  A bottle of water is a necessity, as is a little energy snack – this could turn into an all day affair and you will require nourishment!

You have to remain polite, keep you composure – you don’t want to seem like a total nutter – then add a smidge of ‘I am the boss, don’t mess with me’.  You certainly do not want to be one of those devil ladies in the Daily Mail on boxing day – wresting last seasons Gucci from the clutches of another, equally mental opponent – that is just embarrassing. You make your decision quickly and get to the checkout FAST! You are done. Repeat all these steps for every purchase!

Avoid the need to buy non-coveted, desired items no matter what the discount  - you don’t need them – your mission is to get in and get out, get the things you love, have been wanting for ages and have 101 outfits ready and waiting for its arrival. The non-essential purchases will weigh you down; will not be used and next season something better will be waiting in its place!

You are ready – on your marks, get set…..GO!

Friday, 14 October 2016

The internal Ramblings of a Fashion Victim Vol 1.

For the next few blogs I am going to write about my internal ramblings…..

The internal Ramblings of a Fashion Victim Vol 1. 

The obsession….

Every fashionista knows this feeling, a desire so strong that you dream about said coveted item. You plan endless outfits around the piece you don’t own, give yourself 100 reasons why you NEED it, what you could use it for. The list goes on and on. The obsessive need to talk about it with fellow fashionistas, without giving too much away so they don’t steal your fashion plan and beat you to it. You trawl the internet looking for the best deal, voucher codes, loyalty schemes – anything to make the item within reach until….finally it is yours!

The day arrives, if you are going into town to make the purchase it would be rude not to dress up on such an important occasion. You plan your look, do your hair just right, and figure out the plan of action. Now, this is an important decision, one that has to be carefully reviewed and mulled over – to take someone with you, or not?

Do you take your friend A who may not understand the need for the item, try and discourage you – giving you 100 reasons why you should not make the purchase and then end the conversation rather grumpily with “well its up to you”.  She’s right it is a lot of money; I do need to eat, travel, work and well, basically survive this month. What if we think about it, yes that’s sensible. As you look at the sales assistant and say those dreaded words “we’ll come back, we are just going for lunch and will have a think’. No sales assistant believes this, everyone knows your stalling, that friend A is going to work her magic on you and taint your special purchase day!  As you plop off to lunch and eat carbs, followed by sugar your weigh up the pros and cons – pros you have all the outfits in your head ready to go, plus you know of at least 3 events, no maybe 4 that you can wear it to. So that’s good and resourceful, no? Cons, you cant afford it. Well that’s only one con when I have 3 possibly 4 reasons why I can have it.  Maybe it’s the sugar overload but you suddenly feel inspired. Yes, it is ok, I can have it – I just wont buy another thing for at least 2 months – ok maybe until I get paid again – but then it will just be a small thing – only a perk me up thing – just to keep me going until the next ‘IT’ thing. It’s fine, she will understand – wont she? She wont mind going back there, oh well she might. Maybe I could just go back – maybe I leave and go back – I could sneak there – this is ridiculous, I am an adult. Ok, nope I am sneaking she looks ready to leave – yup going alone….”SO, I was thinking I am just going to go home and think about the (fill in the blank)…BYE” now you’re free to purchase in peace – oh nope that bitter taste of friend A’s opinion is still there – maybe you will just go home and think (obsess) some more and see if there are any deals/sales/vouchers that are new – or anyone going anywhere abroad soon that could get it at the airport – yes that’s what you’ll do – plan the purchase, refine it, and ultimately perfect the purchase plan.

OR do you take friend B who eggs you on, the one who gives you the final push, reaffirms it gorgeousness, and agrees that you MUST have this item in your life? OH but this type of friend is dangerous – not only do they tell you that you need the already well out of your budget coveted piece, but why not buy the matching shoes/bag/wallet or whatever vaguely related item there may be. Now you are really screwed! You feel elated at the time, nodding in anticipation of all the fabulouness that is about to be bestowed upon you – ‘yes, she’s right – I DO NEED the matching gloves – they would totally complete the look’ – you go along with it all and hand over your card willingly – smiling ear to ear, as they wrap it up in its finest packaging – as the sales assistant rambles on and on about all the magical properties the new items posses. You skip away with your new purchase, off for lunch, to celebrate your epic fashion prowess – and then it starts. The slight panic, you ignore it. You will just have the salad, oh wait the garlic bread is cheaper – you will just have that. Your not that hungry anyway – you needed to lose a few pounds. Oh I wonder if this restaurant is on a voucher app – maybe we can get a deal. You get home, you place the new item careful on your bed and stand back and admire its specatualrness and congratulate yourself on such an amazing purchase. Didn’t you do well!!! Oh, the other item is in there too – you haven’t really fallen in love with it yet – but its ok, you will, of course you will.

While lying in bed that evening, smiling at your cleverness of being such a fashion forward thinking individual you get the panic – the dread – the sudden realisation that you have 101 bills to pay, a holiday to plan, food to order –

Its ok, be rational – you can deal with it in the morning – but those weeks of dreaming about pretty things, planning outfits and events are now filled with nightmares – how will I survive – I wonder if I can steal from the office fridge – no one will notice – right? At least I will look fabulous, right – nope it’s tainted. The only solution is to make the mature, sensible decision to take back all your ‘add-ons’ the bits your ‘supportive bestie’ told you that you needed. Return them and keep endlessly checking your bank account until the money has cleared – if required you can phone your bank and or store to hurray it along. Yup that’s what I have to do. BUT, now your really thinking – do I need the original item, was that a frivolous, waste of money – no one likes a friend who cant pay her way! What if I lose my friends?  What if they all talk about me and my bad spending, poor taste, oh god this is awful. What if I just wear it once, then return it – that won’t hurt will it? OR what if I make myself a deal and keep it for 6 months – count the amount of times used and figure out the price per usage – if its paid its way then fine, if not – ebay? Yes, that’s the plan – return the add-ons and ebay the original. Sorted…..just as well I am a logical, practical person who has a positive spin on everything – right?

Lesson learned – never go shopping with friend B again – or maybe she could come with me when I return these bits, just for company – I did see a great top I would like her opinion on. AND SO IT CONTINUES… new rules of shopping for a ridiculously over priced and prized object – go alone!